Fixing a rishta is one of the biggest decisions a family makes, and it is easy to focus on the kundli and forget the rest. This checklist keeps the kundli in its place, one item among several, and helps you cover everything before the engagement. Go through it with your spouse and, importantly, with your son or daughter.
1. Kundli milan
- [ ] Birth details of both confirmed from a record, not memory. Time of birth especially.
- [ ] Match run with Var and Kanya in the right cards: kundli milan by date of birth.
- [ ] Total read against the usual thresholds: 18 minimum, 24 or more good. See kitne gun milne chahiye.
- [ ] Nadi, Bhakoot and Gana lines read, and any cancellation rule noted. See dosha parihar.
- [ ] Manglik status checked for both: Manglik dosha.
- [ ] Report printed and questions noted for the pandit. See how to read the report.
If you are unsure whether the kundli should carry this much weight in your family, read kundli milan zaruri hai ya nahi.
2. The two people
- [ ] The boy and the girl have spoken to each other, more than once, without elders in the room.
- [ ] Both have said clearly, in their own words, that they want to go ahead. A yes given out of pressure shows up later.
- [ ] Views on the big things have been discussed: where to live, career plans, children, supporting parents.
- [ ] Any disagreement is written down and revisited rather than set aside.
3. Education and work
- [ ] Degrees and current job verified, for example from a document or the employer's official profile, not only from the biodata.
- [ ] Job stability, notice period and likely transfers understood.
- [ ] Both sides are comfortable with the girl's and boy's career plans after marriage.
4. Health
- [ ] Any ongoing or past health condition that the other family should know has been shared openly.
- [ ] Both sides are comfortable discussing it. Hiding a health issue causes far more harm than the issue itself.
- [ ] A basic medical check is something many families now agree to for both.
5. Family and background
- [ ] Both families have met at least twice, in a relaxed setting.
- [ ] Family details in the biodata have been checked through relatives or friends who know them.
- [ ] Expectations about the wedding, rituals and the household are discussed plainly.
- [ ] Any talk of dowry or gifts is stopped early. A demand is a red flag, and in India dowry is illegal.
6. Money
- [ ] Rough picture of income, savings, debts and property is shared at the level both sides are comfortable with.
- [ ] Wedding budget agreed so nobody takes a loan they did not expect.
- [ ] Living arrangements after marriage are clear.
7. Location and timing
- [ ] Distance between the two homes and workplaces is realistic.
- [ ] Visa, relocation or transfer plans, if any, are clear.
- [ ] The wedding date is chosen with the pandit's muhurat, after the match is settled, not before.
8. Before you say yes
- [ ] Every item above has a clear answer, even if the answer is "we will find out by this date".
- [ ] Any dosha or low-score concern has been discussed with the pandit and understood, not left as a vague worry.
- [ ] Parents and the couple have talked privately, without pressure, and nobody is rushing.
- [ ] You can explain to a friend why you are comfortable with this rishta.
How to use this list
Print it, tick items as you go, and keep the notes with the kundli report. Share the list in your family group so every elder sees what has been checked. The point is not to find a perfect match. The point is that nothing important was skipped because everyone assumed someone else had checked it.
If the kundli raises a concern, remember that cancellation rules exist for a reason. Run the check calmly, read the dosha lines, and ask the pandit specific questions. The full process is in kundli milan kaise kare, and the free match is online, with no sign-up and no ads. Birth details are never kept on our servers.